How the Saudis Stole Christmas
Next time someone complains that America is intolerant of Muslims, remember what Christmas is like in Saudi Arabia. The Associated Press's Susan Sevareid, a great-grand-niece of the late Eric Sevareid, reports from Riyadh:

Expatriate workers hold discreet holiday parties within walled compounds, out of sight of the government's religious police, who guard against offenses to the faith. . . . Some embassies . . . organize gatherings for their citizens during the holiday season, but generally not on Christmas Day to avoid offending Saudi sensibilities. . . .

In Riyadh, the mere mention of Christmas leads many expatriates to lower their voices and fidget, fearful of unwanted attention or risking their jobs. Just buying a Christmas card requires a whispered journey into a greeting card underworld.

The AP notes that Bahrain, Egypt, Lebanon, Syria and Yemen all tolerate public displays of Christianity, which means that Saudi Arabia is intolerant even by Arab standards.

How the Palestinians Stole Christmas
Columnist R. Emmett Tyrrell reports from Jerusalem on Palestinian Muslims' war against Christianity:

Whereas the Israelis respect sacred places, the Palestinian Authority does not. Their police have taken over the Temple Mount with the sufferance of the Israeli government that controls it. Against the will of Jews and Christians, who judge it sacred, and of archaeologists, who consider it worthy of careful study, these religious bigots are carting away tons of ancient earth to build a huge mosque for political purposes. They are defiling a sacred and archaeologically invaluable location on a 3,000-year-old site to establish a political claim to the site, and no one is stopping them.

The desecration is not unprecedented. Think back four years ago, to when the Taliban conspired in the destruction of the ancient Buddhist statues in Afghanistan. . . .

Surely you remember last April when Palestinian militants (gunmen) took over Bethlehem's Church of the Nativity, booby-trapped its entrance and terrorized 150 worshipers for 39 days while eating the clerics' provisions, quaffing their booze--so much for Allah's blue laws--stealing church valuables such as gold crucifixes and using sacred scriptures for toilet paper (ah, cleanliness). That sort of barbarism is not new.

Our Friends the Saudis
A report from the Middle East Media Research Institute notes that Saudi schools indoctrinate children in hatred of Christians and Jews:

• A fifth-grade textbook quotes the Koran: "[I swear] by Him who holds Muhammad's soul in his hand that not one Jew or Christian who had heard me and did not believe in the message that I was sent with shall die without being one of those whose fate is hell."

• An eight-grade textbook "explains that Jews and Christians have sinned by accepting polytheism and therefore incurred Allah's wrath. To punish them, Allah has turned them into apes and pigs."

• A ninth-grade textbook instructs students that "the Jews and the Christians are the enemies of the believers. They will not be favorably disposed toward Muslims and it is necessary to be cautious [in dealing with them]."

The Saudis' intolerant Wahhabi brand of Islam is hardly a peculiar institution limited to the Arabian Peninsula; as Memri points out, "Saudi Arabia has been engaged in an extensive effort 'to spread Islam to every corner of the earth.' "

Christmas in China
Marx may have called religion the opiate of the masses, but the Christian Science Monitor reports from Beijing that communist China is far more Christmas-friendly than the Saudis:

Christmas wreaths and lighted trees, white-foam snowmen and special dinners, as well as an ethos of "jingle-bell cool" are wafting in on the wings of global culture, bringing a holiday atmosphere to Beijing, Shanghai, and Guangzhou.

At a Beijing noodle shop bedecked with silver and gold plastic bells, cook Yin Li pauses over a beef stew when asked if all the decorations seem like a foreign cultural invasion. "Honestly, no," she says. "I like it. It makes everything feel more like a holiday."

Not that China doesn't persecute Christians. "Some Chinese evangelical ministers and Catholic priests remain behind bars, some with heavy sentences--for promoting their interpretation of the Gospels," the Monitor notes. Still, if the commies can embrace the commercial aspects of Christmas, perhaps they'll eventually come around to the spiritual ones as well.

Christmas in North Korea
Not all communist countries celebrate Christmas. But even North Koreans are on holiday of sorts. "The winter recreation of agricultural working people has begun in [North] Korea," reports the official "news" agency KCNA. "According to Hong Sung Dok, deputy director of the Bureau of Recreation of the Ministry of Labor, a large number of peasants are enjoying themselves at the expense of the state at recreation centers situated in nearly twenty scenic spots. . . . During the 15-day holidays, they visit revolutionary sites and scenic spots, have art performances and enjoy folk plays, amusements, sports games, etc."

"Holidaymakers from different farms" also get to visit "the Korean Revolution Museum" and can experience "appreciation of art performances in theatres in Pyongyang and such amusements as yut and chess." Enjoy it while you can, comrades. The Guardian reports that the North Korean government is threatening to "destroy the earth."

How the Red Cross Stole Christmas
Staffers at Red Cross thrift stores in Britain are under orders "not to set up nativity scenes, Christmas trees or decorations with Christian symbols in case they offended Muslims and other non-Christians," the BBC reports.

Christine Banks, a volunteer at a Red Cross shop in Kent, tells the Beeb that her store's manager had set up a Christmas tree: "He had to take it back out again because he was told we weren't allowed to have anything like that, or anything that was to do with Christmas or Christians. This was because we were told the Red Cross doesn't want to offend Muslims."

But Lord Ahmed, "one of the country's most prominent Muslim politicians," says the objection to Christmas displays is "stupid": "The Muslim community has been talking to Christians for the past 1,400 years. The teachings from Islam are that you should respect other faiths."

You may be wondering how an outfit called the Red Cross can be so skittish about Christianity. The "cross" in Red Cross is not actually a crucifix, but rather the Swiss battle standard (which appears on the Swiss flag as a white cross on a red background). On the Swiss cross, unlike the Christian one, both vertical arms are of the same length.

Santa's Sex Change
"Folklorists and neo-pagan enthusiasts" are promoting the idea that Santa Claus is actually a woman, the Chicago Sun-Times reports. They claim "the Santa Claus character of popular American Christmastide actually is predated several thousand years by Holda, the pagan Teutonic goddess of good fortune":

Frau Holda, as she is more popularly known, has been sliding down chimneys, delivering gifts to children, and traveling via an airborne cart, according to German mythology and folklore, since at least several hundred years before the birth of Christ.

But Frau Holda isn't exactly a feminist. One Holda tale, the Sun-Times says, "says if women didn't finish their spinning before Christmas, Holda would come in the middle of the night and burn their spindle or ruin all the yarn they'd spun that year." Another legend has it that "Holda lived in magnificent cave in a mountain, where she kept the souls of unborn children." The paper likens this to Santa and his elves, but the National Abortion Rights Action League cannot find this myth very appealing.

'Blees Let the Rayn Deer Come'
Six-year-old Leanne Bellouny of High Bridge, N.J., was "very concerned" when she learned that New Jersey had banned the importation of deer and elk, the Newark Star-Ledger quotes her first-grade teacher, Lynn Hickey, as saying. The paper explains: "No deer meant no reindeer. No reindeer meant no Santa. No Santa meant no Christmas."

So Hickey suggested her students "write to the state Department of Environmental Protection to request a reindeer dispensation." And they did:

"Please let Santa Clos come in New Jersey," Leanne wrote.

Chimed in a classmate: "I will have a bad birthday if the reindeer are sick."

And another: "Blees let the rayn deer come. If tha don't come we all wont get enea presits."

DEP commissioner Bradley Campbell wrote to the class: "The rules you were worried about only apply to reindeer on the ground. We made the rule to keep the reindeer that live in New Jersey from getting sick. But flying reindeer are just fine and are always welcome in New Jersey." Glad they cleared that up. Now if only New Jersey schools could teach kids to spell.

You Don't Say--I
"Retailers Court Last-Minute Shoppers"--headline, Associated Press, Dec. 23

Ho Ho Ho
Still stuck trying to come up with a Christmas present for that special someone? How about Lingerie Barbie? "What a Barbie Babe she is, decked out in her sexy black (or, if you prefer, pink) garters, stockings and obligatory stiletto heels," writes Deborah Roffman in the Washington Post. "Even her PR is PG, giving the phrase 'sex toy' a whole new level of meaning: 'Barbie exudes a flirtatious attitude in her heavenly merry widow bustier ensemble accented with intricate lace and matching peekaboo peignoir.' "

Not Too Brite--XXXVII
"A bizarre rumor that Malawi's government is colluding with vampires to collect human blood for international aid agencies in exchange for food has led to a rash of vigilante violence," Reuters reports from Blantyre, the obscure southern African country's largest city. "Last week a man accused of helping vampires was stoned to death and three Roman Catholic priests were beaten up by villagers who suspected them of being bloodsuckers." Oddly Enough!

Where Are Those 'Scare Quotes' When You 'Need' Them?
"U.N. arms experts scoured an old Iraqi baby milk plant on Monday which, destroyed by Western allies in the Gulf War and then rebuilt, became a potent symbol of the propaganda war over alleged weapons of mass destruction," Reuters reports. Note the lack of scare quotes around baby milk from the wire service that won't call Osama bin Laden a terrorist--even though that Iraqi claim was long ago debunked.

The 'Majority' That Wasn't
"A majority of Canadians still back Prime Minister Jean Chretien's Liberal government despite months of party infighting and accusations of financial mismanagement, according to a poll released on Monday," Reuters reports from Toronto. "Forty-one percent of Canadians surveyed picked the Liberals to provide competent and honest government." Can someone please explain Reuters' "math"? As far as we know, you need at least 50% to make a majority.

Like Father, Unlike Son
In an item yesterday, we cited a New York Times article that quoted Rep. Harold Ford Jr. blasting candidate Bill Frist, now Senate majority leader, as racist for wanting to hand out unsharpened pencils at a campaign appearance (don't ask). Contrary to the Times, it was then-Rep. Harold Ford Sr. who criticized Frist; the younger Ford was not elected to Congress until his father retired in 1996.

You Don't Say--II
"Democrats around the country say the replacement of Trent Lott with Bill Frist as Senate Republican leader greatly complicates their task of taking advantage of the racial furor sparked by Mr. Lott."--lead paragraph, New York Times, Dec. 24

Rage Against the Machine

"They have a destruction machine, we don't."--Bill Clinton, Dec. 3

"Several days after the Republican victory in the November elections, Democratic National Committee chairman Terry McAuliffe and others in the party authorized an intensive opposition research report on Frist. 'It was obvious then that he was going to be a national political figure for the party,' says a DNC staffer. 'No one could have anticipated what has just happened, but we're certain there is stuff in his past we'll be able to dig up.' "--The American Prowler, Dec. 24

Saved by the Gel
"A Brazilian woman, shot in crossfire between police and drug dealers, was saved by her silicone breast implants," Ananova reports. "Doctors said the silicone had slowed the bullet up enough to prevent it from causing her a serious injury."

Better still, the plastic surgeon who removed the bullet from Jane Selma Soares's chest "took the opportunity to increase the size of Mrs Soares' breasts with more silicone." She said: "I'm twice happy, first because my prosthesis saved my life and also because now I look even more beautiful."

Porn in Palestine
Zionist aggressors--sorry, Israeli police--"saved an Arab porn actor from being lynched shortly after his wife, and partner in the film, was badly beaten," United Press International reports. "The couple, whose names were not disclosed, starred in an Israeli-Arab pornographic film, Youssuf and Fatma. The cover of the videocassette shows the two in the middle of an act against the background of a mosque." The attack happened in Tira, an Arab village in Israel.

The Jerusalem Post reports that "outraged fellow villagers" set upon the couple for "harming the honor of Islam." UPI adds that "the woman told Israel's Channel 1 TV that she agreed to act in the film because her eight children were hungry and she needed money to feed them. She was paid $150."

Meanwhile, the Associated Press reports from Houston that a "Palestine man," 33-year-old Mark Bates, has been sentenced to 30 years in federal prison for running "a worldwide e-mail ring that traded pornographic images of children."

(Elizabeth Crowley helps compile Best of the Web Today. Thanks to Robert LeChevalier, Mara Gold, Judie Amsel, Fred Komarow, Jeffrey Weinstein, Jenifer Sawicki, Natalie Cohen, Monty Krieger, S.E. Brenner, Scott Wood, Barak Moore, Damian Bennett, Paul Stinchfield, Jim Orheim, Joe Littrell, Stephen Smith, Nancy Zimmerman, Peter Savage, Julie Carlson, Charles Kalina, Bill Vis, Marc Sole, Gadi Niram, Jerome Marcus, Neil Gronowetter, Carl Sherer and C.E. Dobkin. If you have a tip, write us at opinionjournal@wsj.com, and please include the URL.)

Today on OpinionJournal:

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• Tom Bray: Bush must reject the racialism of the left as well as the right.
• Clifford May: Meet Sean Penn, Saddam's useful idiot.